Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World
Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus on power and "win-win" instead of relationships and perceptions. They don't find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions. They get distracted from their goals.
In this revolutionary book, leading negotiation practitioner and professor Stuart Diamond draws on the research and practice of 30,000 people he has taught and advised in 45 countries over two decades to outline specific, practical and better ways to deal with others. They range from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants, lawyers, housewives, students and laborers. To this he adds his 40-year experience as an executive, Harvard-trained attorney and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.
Getting More is based on Professor Diamond's award-winning negotiations course at The Wharton Business School, where it has been the most sought-after course by students for 13 years. It contains a powerful toolkit that can be used by anyone in any situation: with kids and jobs, travel and shopping, business, politics, relationships, cultures, partners and competitors.
The advice is addressed through the insightful stories of hundreds of people who have used Diamond's tools with great success. A 20% savings on an item already on sale. An extra $300 million profit in a business. A woman from India getting out of her own arranged marriage. A 4 year old willingly brushing his teeth and going to bed.
Conventional wisdom is challenged on almost every page. Instead of "win-win," it sometimes makes more sense lose today to get more tomorrow. The use of power, Diamond cautions, too often causes retaliation, harms relationships and costs credibility. Walking out is almost never as good as understanding the other person's perceptions and fixing the problem. Not everything is about money; intangibles such as valuing others will often get you much more in return. Even the hardest bargainers can be tamed by using their own public standards against them.
The key to getting more is finding the right tools for each situation; being more flexible, and better understanding the other party. These strategies are invisible, until you learn them. Once you see them, they will always be there to help you get more.
own constituency. Adam Kane used reframing to get his company, Erickson Retirement Communities, to accept a $50 million project. Erickson develops and operates mostly upscale retirement communities; there are 30,000 residents in nineteen states. Adam, a senior vice president, wanted to go into the low-income market. The company was initially uninterested in this new market. So Adam contacted an executive who had just been appointed head of a new division: new products. “They were thinking a new
“Here’s how you negotiate real estate deals,” be skeptical. They may know various real estate tactics that work sometimes, or sort of. They may have real estate expertise. But until you define your goals and the people involved in that particular situation, you can’t effectively decide what negotiation tools to use. The people involved in a negotiation, and the process they use, comprise more than 90 percent of what is important in a negotiation. The substance, the facts, and the expertise make
love our customers.” Anger would have led to a dead end, he realized. So Sebastian gave the dry cleaner details about the importance of the interview, how he didn’t have time to wash and iron another shirt and didn’t have the money to buy a new one. “Do you have any shirt that could fit me?” he asked. Without skipping a beat, the dry cleaner went to the rack, eyed Sebastian for size, and picked out someone else’s clean white shirt hanging on the rack. He gave Sebastian the shirt. Sebastian tried
Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa. “James got really excited,” said Greg, a venture capitalist in Boston. “He gave me lots of tips. He went over all the equipment, piece by piece.” He also gave Greg a 20 percent discount, worth $250. Fusun Sevgen wanted a rebate from Taylor Fuel when it failed to deliver promised gas to her house. Before she called the company, she did some research. “I called and talked to Bill, the owner,” Fusun said. “I told him I was new to the
you a particular option costs more, check it on the Internet. The Wall Street Journal once did an article in which a dealer added $2,000 to the purchase price for high-end tires and rims. The buyer did an Internet search right there on his cell phone and found that the wheels were actually less expensive than the standard ones, which came with the car at no extra charge. THE POWER DYNAMIC As noted throughout this book, be careful of overusing power. Just use enough to meet your goals but