I Win, You Win: The Essential Guide to Principled Negotiation
Negotiation is an essential skill in all areas of life. It is a series of maneuvers that we move through in order to get the best possible deal for ourselves, our company, or our organization. How far we will go to achieve our goals is where the rub lies. Full of useful exercises, case studies, and accessible advice, this book will help readers achieve their goals by showing them how to prepare effectively, build rapport, communicate openly, and enhance trust in their business.
Carl Lyons is a life coach and organizational training consultant. He spent ten years working for ICI in a variety of senior roles before setting up his own company, ReCreate. During his time at ICI, Lyons trained executives in the techniques of ethical negotiation. His first book, Skilful Living, was published in 2004.
may be to do with having time to yourself, instilling discipline and making sure they get enough sleep. Your kids’ interests may be to do with fitting in with friends and not going to bed too early as well as developing some autonomy. Rather than digging into an absolute time of say 8.30, it may be agreed that they are in their room by 8.30, have time to themselves for half and hour and then lights are out by 9.00. This way the values of both parties have been discussed, understood and to the
reinforcement trigger we talked about earlier as you are getting people to make a public commitment to your summary. Of course, testing understanding is key if you think there is genuine misunderstanding and this is better dealt with as it arises. This links in with good implementation planning, which will be discussed a little later. Testing understanding can also be used to effectively challenge people’s perceptions. Often people will say things like ‘Your people are always late with your
choices at a buffet before you choose, if you have a range of options, you stand a much better chance of finding a solution that meets your needs. This is to be solution-focused. Being problem-focused is not that effective in negotiations. It would be like telling the server behind the buffet that you’re allergic to this, that makes you fat and you really don’t like anything with anchovies. The server waits with the serving utensils, getting frustrated, and will eventually say, ‘Well, that’s all
if you are designing and purchasing a pressure vessel, in the chemical industry there are engineering norms that define the size, shape, wind loading capability, grade and thickness of material. If there are no accepted industrial standards and a number of differing reference points, such as the car purchase above, then it may be sensible to seek some advice from somebody who knows the industry well and can demonstrate some level of independence. This person would not be helping to solve the
values Before attempting to identify the values and interests of the other party, it is important to be clear about your own. Values are those really fundamental things that give you a sense of right and wrong in life and need to somehow be satisfied otherwise a sense of lack will result. In one way or another we are forever trying to satisfy those values that we feel most strongly about. To identify your own values answer the following questions: What are the things that are most important to