Working for You Isn't Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss
Katherine Crowley, Kathi Elster
The guide for anyone who deals with difficult authority figures at work.
Sooner or later, we all have to work for someone we can't stand-whether it's an inept supervisor, an undermining department head, or an overly demanding client. When that happens, some people quit, some suffer in silence, and others cope by sulking, obsessing, or retaliating.
But you can take charge of this crucial workplace relationship. In this book, Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, authors of the bestseller Working for You Is Killing Me, offer concrete examples of bad boss scenarios and a proven four-step program for improving each situation:
•Detect - Identify how this person drives you crazy.
•Detach - Discover concrete actions you can take to reclaim your power.
•Depersonalize - Learn how to take a boss's actions less personally.
•Deal - Devise a plan to get what you need and move your career forward.
direction. I wish he’d tell me his goals for the depart- ment. I’d like to know what he wants me to accomplish.” “Okay. So he’s not giving you what you need from a boss?” “Correct.” “Okay, last question: What’s your greatest fear with any boss?” “I fear being dismissed and marginalized.” “Uh-huh. So when Richard keeps you at a distance and excludes you from all decision making, he triggers your worst fears, right?” “Exactly.” “All right,” Ray says. “So here’s your challenge. You’ve got a boss
social club as a means of getting closer to you outside of the workplace. 4. After revealing a personal story to the boss, you have a sinking feeling that you’ve said too much. 5. There are moments when the boss uses some piece of information about your personal life to either discount your opinion or devalue your behavior. Tell-All Also likable characters, Tell-Alls believe that part of being a boss is sharing all kinds of personal information about themselves. Unlike the Calculating
working. We’ll help you identify which phase of a toxic boss/employee relationship you may be cycling through. We’ll introduce you to twenty inferior boss behaviors and help you pinpoint what your boss is doing that causes you to lose sleep. In Section II, we show you how to detach from your boss’s bothersome behavior and take back your personal power. You’ll receive numerous practical techniques for restoring your energy, repairing your emotional state, and rebuilding your confidence. Section
adjustments. With Te- resa, however, every suggestion he makes is challenged. Teresa responds to his ideas and calculations by saying, “That can’t be right.” She then insists that each member of the department provide her with his or her financial estimates from previous budgets so that she can develop her own plan. Phillip is angry and frustrated with his new boss. He feels dismissed and disrespected. When Teresa gives him the final budget to send out, he sees that practically every figure on
having someone to push against or challenge. If the boss is Checked Out, Challengers find the lack of leadership frustrating and a little disorient- ing. You may misinterpret your boss’s preoccupation with personal con- cerns as a message that he or she doesn’t care about you or the company. This can lead to rebellious acts on your behalf (designed to catch your employer’s attention). It’s important to depersonalize by realizing that your boss’s behavior has nothing to do with you and that